#JuWriSoMos Reflections, week 14

As this challenge comes closer and closer to its conclusion (we only have one full week and one day left!), I find myself once again in a reflective space. This challenge has helped me become confident in my ability to focus, and work on something consistently over time. And now that we’re almost done with the challenge, there’s a bit of me that is feeling like I can do anything I really want to do. And there’s also a bit of me that that is nervous that I will fall back into my old patterns of not completing anything.

It is a familiar feeling, the fear mingling together of seemingly conflicted emotions. As I sit with this reflection for a moment, I begin to also feel more certain in my intentions and areas of focus for this year.

What are my intentions for this year?

Tune in to the “and”

For most of my life I have been taught that there is no “and.” You are a victim or you are a criminal, you are guilty or you are innocent, you are either a good guy or a bad guy. You are either worthy or you are unworthy. Even though I know this is not actually true, real life has so much more nuance and complexity, still it is what has been ingrained into just about everything. Either or, not and. So much so that it can feel awkward to even consider that more than one thing might be true at the same time. To be open to where “and” pops up, and really tune in to it, that is intentional. And that is one of my intentions this year.

Make room

In a world that seems to be hell bent on cluttering up our space, taking our time, and leaving us without breathing room, it takes deliberate action to clear our plates. Conditioned to fill every void in our lives, sometimes to run away from ourselves, but always so that there is no room for anything other than “more.”  Releasing the extra things that are unnecessary and unneeded in my living and workspace, placing a boundary around how much of what kind of work I will take on, limiting who has access to me and for how long, all of these things are part of making room. I want, and know that I need, more room in my life. Room for creativity, room for inspiration, room for growth, room for exploration, room for giving and receiving blessing, room for joy, room for invitation, and relationships. Room for nature and art and ideas and rest. Room to just be.

Others too

This goes beyond just making room for myself though. As a practice, I want to make room for others too. I specifically want to make room for and hold space for the next generation, not for them to become me or to even continue what I started, but for them to become whoever they are. Our tendency to crowd every space doesn’t allow any of us to really grow or bloom. And I just… I want to be part of changing that and very intentionally making room: for others too.  

Makes me chuckle a little bit because even though I didn’t know it when I began creating this challenge…this challenge is very much aligned with these intentions.