#WriteWithMe Reflection: Week 12

This past week was intense on so many levels, I was so grateful for the writing space and also for the fact that we are not writing every day this year. When I think about this last week, everything that happened, and everything I wrote about… I am exhausted. And also, I am energized.  I have a lot of reflections that I want to share with you, but I am going to keep it short this week because in all honesty, I do not have the spoons to do so today.

Here’s the one thing I will share for now:

There’s a memory that came up for me a few times over the past couple of months as I have been writing. Awhile back a friend was sharing something with myself and another friend and made a comment about how we would understand what they were talking about because both of us were healers. Easy, breezy comment, a sentence in the middle of a paragraph. We did understand what they were talking about, I felt it in my bones at the time.

I can’t even tell you what we were talking about now. But I can tell you that assertion has sat with me, that declaration resonated deeply. Because in spite of the work that I do as a coach, a mentor, a minister, a parent… Even as I work to heal generational traumas, and create or hold healing space for others. I never considered this to be a part of who I am.  

This isn’t the first time that someone has spoken a truth to me that would be obvious to everyone else. For example, I realized I actually was a leader because someone called me out on how I had been doing damage because people were following me. After some internal and external arguments, I realized they were right and I had to decide if I was going to embrace that or not. Because I am a leader, I have a responsibility to show up differently in the spaces I work and live in.

It has taken me some time to process both labels, leader and healer. Leader I have embraced, though I am sure some folks hoped I wouldn’t. Healer? In calling me to recognize this piece of me, that I am a healer, a kind of healing happened that I did not know still needed to happen. A burden that was cast on me in my growing up, was challenged and has eased. One day I will speak more on this.

I want to leave you with this thought. The words that you speak over people have power and can impact people for years even if you don’t know it. Please know that. Please choose to speak life into people, instead of casting burdens on them.