Love is an Action

Originally posted 6/3/2021, today it is posted with a few additions.

Listen closely y’all, I’m gonna get a little feisty about something and I need you to hear what I’m saying. I need you to listen deeply.

Love is a verb.

You show exactly how little or how much love y’all have for a thing or a person by where you put your money, and how you spend your time and energy.

If you put your time, energy, money, and support into a business or a person, you are showing love for that business or person (or politician etc) and what they stand for. You put money in, you are stamping your approval for how it is spent.

So, in the event that a business, for example one that sells mediocre chicken sandwiches or craft supplies, uses the money you give them to fund policies and politicians who areā€¦ oh I dunno, anti-LGBTQIA2S or limits the choices people might have when it comes to their medical care, guess what? You did that. And your “love” becomes hurtful action.

When you are called to accountability for that, and you keep doing it anyway, guess what? Your “love” becomes harmful and hateful action.

What you do has consequences, not just in some big grand scheme but also on a relationship level.

Love is a verb. An action. Actions speak so much louder than your words ever will.

If you say “I love you” or “you matter” to someone who is LGBTQIA2S, or has different reproductive care needs or skin color or culture from yours, and then you go vote for someone or buy lunch from a company that puts energy and money into limiting and dehumanizing those same people… What you’re actually saying is you care more about an alleged platform or a cheap craft product or a damn chicken sandwich than you do about that person.

In other words, you don’t actually give an eff about the people you say you love.

Sounds harsh? Take a deep breath in and sit with it. Truth is harsh and raw sometimes.

This principle is applies whether you are “loving” LGBTQIA2S people, people who are or may become pregnant, people who have or may impregnate another person, Black, Brown, Native and Indigenous people. Remember how the golden rule is to treat others the way you want to be treated…

The real real is that you cannot love someone or say someone matters to you and simultaneously support things and people and institutions who do them harm.


Love better.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

#LoveLouder #ISaidWhatISaid #LoveBetter