Write My MAP Reflection: Weeks 10, 11, & 12
The last few weeks have been tough, and this reflection is unedited because of that. Alongside the general chaos of returning to routines after the holidays and attempting to wrap up everything from last year, things around the world have been dicey and more so than usual. The vast majority of the shifts and actions that have caused what may be irreparable damage in the last couple of weeks have not been surprising. Nonetheless, the lack of surprise has not made any of it any easier to manage or to act against.
As cheesy as this sounds, what is going on in the world around me has made this particular writing journey all that much more important. I hear from other survivors who have given so much of themselves to further the anti-violence field how tempting it is to go back to the life… I find myself wanting to burn everything down, rage burns deep, and I am sick of swallowing my teeth in attempt to not waste my breath on people who are hell bent on causing harm so they are not harmed.
But, on my wall I have my draft MAP staring back at me, begging me to pause and ask myself “if this is who I am and what I want, how do I actually respond?”
To be honest, I have expended a lot of emotional energy just keeping myself grounded over the last few weeks. I haven’t finished my draft action plan, I have a lot of scribbly notes but I haven’t pulled them all together yet. Usually, I have a plan that’s already been in testing for a few weeks by now. These are not usual times, and I refuse to normalize the intentional chaos that’s being thrown our way. Whether we anticipated it or not, none of this is normal and none of this is acceptable.
Anyway, I digress slightly.
I have a whole host of things I want to do this year, a myriad of things I want to impact. I know that most of the things I want to do and things I want to impact will seem small in the grand scheme of things, and I wonder if they will even matter when the dust settles. I look at my MAP, and I look at the news, and I look at the messages I have received and the conversations I have had. And I know, deep in my bones, that this is the time for me to keep doubling down.
This is messy work, making way for joy and peace and healing. This is difficult work, stepping into unknowns and not giving way to panic, staying connected in my body and leading from a place of full presence. This is beautiful and painful work, staying aligned and practicing healing through creativity. This is necessary work, boundaried and mindful compassion in action, which can give us the strength to find new ways through.
As I head into the next leg of this journey, I am grateful to not be in it alone, and I am grateful to have been able to take the time over the last couple of months to reset and realign myself. In this next and final leg of this journey, I will be taking the time to share my reflections every week. In previous years, I would have done this throughout the entire writing journey. Because the writing journey this year is so deeply personal to me, a practice I engage intimately every year, I needed to really wrestle through internally and allow myself the time I needed to dig things up and settle the dust so I could perceive more clearly. I still need this, but now is the time for me to test my draft action plan…and part of my drafted action plan includes sharing some things with all of you more regularly.
Until next time:
Regulate your nervous system
Organize your resources, priorities, and networks
Connect with your community and loved ones
Know your rights and practice using them
Expand your knowledge base and share your skills
Take care of yourself and engage those boundaries that will help you take care of others too, take notes and keep receipts
Stay informed by using multiple sources not connected to a social media platform (ie directly from the news source website or printed paper, not through an app)